i want to be the poem, not the poet.

 to be hideous and courageous at the same time,

is to write until the last drop of ink is left

and wait in response to the epistle 

knowing there's no ink nor anybody to write back

to look at and to be looked at 

is to hire a photographer 

just to pose melancholy

coveting to be an artifice of a candid camera 

to be intrepidus and introvertive at once

is to wait for a text message

knowing you'll never recieve it 

no matter how much you change 

to be the poem for once and not the poet

is an obscure feeling 

cause i, very well know that I'll never be the poem

but waiting is still on my mind

and yes I'll probably be the poem, 

when people read out the obituary,

on my very final death day

but that's just a half known expectation

maybe I'll be the poem 

the day i have to leave 

but isn't it disturbing?

to not read the poem, 

only the very time ill get to be one.

and maybe I'll be the poem.

not the poet. for once.

- chaithra. 

28/12/23